I choose life: Where pro-choice and pro-life meet.

It's 60 degrees in Michigan in February so I went for a walk. On my neighborhood stroll, I saw a yard sign promoting the pro-life platform's agenda to end legal abortions in the U.S. and my heart sank. Why can't it just say, "I choose life"? Why does this issue have to be so polarizing? Even in my pro-choice circles, I don't know anyone who is "pro-death," or "pro-kill-all-the-babies." Because I'm a reasonable, thoughtful and compassionate person, I seriously question whether overturning Roe vs Wade is the best way to protect life or not. Can the pro-life platform entertain the possibility that through a combination of broad efforts and support services women might not see getting an abortion as a choice at all? Instead, that it would not even make sense for a woman to have an abortion because there would be little to no impact on the nine months of gestation affecting income or performance at work; there would be assurances that they could provide financially for the child; there might even be an adoptive parent ready and waiting to welcome the child into their home-and it wouldn't just be parents that have turned to adoption as a last resort for having children; and there would be NO SHAME in doing this.

Dream with me for a moment.

What if religious organizations that teach premarital sex as sin and punishable by shame and ridicule by the entire community to the point that congregates turn to abortion in order to hide this atrocious act of love and natural instinct of our human bodies- what if they instead included abstinence as one form of responsible sex but not the only method? I wonder how many teenage pregnancies would be prevented, thus abortions averted if our youth were not faced with hormonal make-out sessions in which physical body wins over pious teachings and... oops.  The Church allows concessions for other "sins" why not this one? ie. Donuts are bad (gluttony), but if you are going to eat one, eat one with the least amount of calories and sugar/fat content and be sure to do some jumping jacks.

I believe there are two main decision factors when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Don't forget, unplanned pregnancies happen within marriages as well.

The first is the social judgement factor: How will this change in my life be received by those around me? Will they be happy for me? Will they make assumptions that I am thrilled with this life-changing inevitable event in my life? Will they say awkward references to my fertility? Will they make jokes about whether or not I know how to prevent pregnancy? Will they talk behind my back about how foolish it is for me to have another child when I can't "support" the others that I already have? And the biggest realization- OMG THEY WILL KNOW THAT I HAD SEX!!!! Which in the U.S. is an assumption if married- though I know I didn't get much when I was married myself- and if not, a big dirty rotten secret that is supposed to be hiding from the world.

The second is a resource factor: How will this change affect my ability to care for not only that which I am now responsible for but also the new life? What is my current physical health situation? How will this pregnancy impact it? Are there other lives that rely on me that this change might severely compromise their health and safety? Do I have enough money to feed, clothe, shelter another life? Do I have a plan for increasing my income and/or does this change dramatically affect it? What support system do I have in place to get me through the formative years?

Making abortion illegal discriminates and incriminates our poor. I love this quote by Thomas More from his book Utopia, “For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.”  Poor people have sex too.  We can't persecute the poor for having sex. But we can offer free reproductive health prevention services such as birth control, condoms, vasectomies, tubal legations in order to prevent abortions. The rich when faced with an unwanted pregnancy will have the means to travel to another country to have an abortion, or they will have the money to pay for an underground abortion. The poor will get poorer and weaker, or they will face botched abortions and possible death. Is this our America?

Making abortion illegal basically allows government to lose control of the birth rate.  I wonder what America would look like with 58 million more people.  I wonder if and when our economy could not sustain itself, would the government then put a cap on births per household? Or perhaps people would then become trade commodities with other nations. ie. We'll send you 10,000 U.S. citizens for $X in oil. Crazy thoughts.

Sometimes choosing life means it beats you up a bit. Sometimes life has already beaten us up to the point that we can't choose life without the help of others. I chose life when I had my 3 children. Life chose for me when I miscarried. It's a life and death decision each time and I have no judgement upon someone either way. I wish the yard sign would say something more like, "Pray for open pocketbooks, homes, and hearts to support our women who choose life."  For a life without safety, security, and love is no life at all. Let's get rid of the terms pro-life and pro-choice. I choose life. Will you join me?